i'm cranky:(

Have I mentioned before that I dislike being a coordinator? I am not an extremely organized person by nature, but I do feel like I managed to teach for 5 years without too much trouble. I graduated college with almost all A's. I earned a Master's degree from the University of Virginia while teaching full time. I could not have done any of this if I wasn't internally motivated to do things well, to go beyond the bare minimum and put my best effort forward on every task I set out to accomplish. That being said, I am not one of those people who feel the need to organize everybody, micro-manage projects, or tell other people what to do. I do not get a thrill from being in charge. I am usually a follower, not a leader. I like being a sidekick, a helper. Tell me what needs to be done and I will try my best to do it. But I have a "job" right now that is making me crazy... why is recruiting for volunteer activities so difficult?

Personally, I think it is because people just think someone else will do it. Or they think that since they are volunteering, it doesn't matter if they show up or not, do a good job or not, let anyone know their plans or not. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to think you have things covered and then someone just doesn't show up? Doesn't anybody have a sense of work ethic anymore? I have done my share of volunteering this year. I am the sole member of the teacher appreciation committee at my girlies school. I am also a member of the children's ministry team at my church. I am a substitute Sunday school teacher. I volunteer in kindergarten every Wednesday for at least 2 hours, but usually about 4 hours. I try to be there every time I say I will; teachers, parents, and children are counting on me. I am not trying to look superior and I don't expect a pat on the back for what I have done, I do it because it needs to be done and I feel good knowing I helped where I could. I know that being a mom, working or stay at home is a tough job. Kids get sick, relatives visit, vacations happen, but there should still be a sense of obligation to things you said you would do. If you say you are going to do something, people are counting on you. And then when you don't do it, people are disappointed, not to mention left without any help.

I also don't understand people who constantly take advantage of the free child care offered through our church without ever volunteering to help out every once in a while. I'm not saying they need to spend every moment of their lives watching other people's children, but helping out a few hours here and there would make the whole process flow smoother. It would open the church's services to many more children in the community, spreading the word of God even further. And isn't that the point of VBS? I know that some people view VBS in the summer as child care, a way to get 3 hours of time to themselves in the summertime. I am trying not to pass judgment, it isn't my place. BUT, the members of our church know all year that VBS is coming. They know that every year, more children from the community come - we have an awesome VBS every year. They know that means we need more grown-ups every year to create a safe and fun environment. So, why am I still looking for 8 more people with VBS only 2 weeks away? And why do I feel like the only one still looking for these last few volunteers? And why do I get myself into situations like this? I am learning something about myself through this whole experience though. Don't ask questions about things if you aren't prepared to then be in charge of it. Don't be surprised or fooled by people who say they will help you and then don't. I don't mean to sound so pessimistic or jaded, but I am so tired of other people not putting the same effort into what they say they will do. It is not fair to the others involved.

I am frustrated and grumpy. I know this will pass, that once VBS has gone off successfully, I'll feel bad that I felt the need to rant like this. But that is the point of my blog, to voice my opinions, tell my tales, rant my rants and rave my raves. To get whatever I am feeling or thinking out, so it doesn't nag at me. So hopefully, I will be able to find 8 more volunteers in the next 2 weeks. I'll keep praying; and if you are so inclined, your prayers would be helpful too!