the library rocks!

So, yesterday I got an email from my local public library branch that says a book I put on hold many months ago is finally available to me. So I hope no one will mind if I put Edgar Sawtelle to the side for a little bit, so I can read this highly coveted book from the library. Edgar is going well, I am over 2/3 through and it is getting really interesting. I don't want to stop right now, but I only have American Wife: a novel by Curtis Sittenfeld for 3 weeks and I cannot renew it because so many other people are waiting for it as well.

I know this breaks my rule about no buying books or borrowing more since I have so many already in my house, but this book will have to be grandfathered in since I put it on hold last year! Funny how I can rationalize just about anything when it is something I want to do, like having ice cream for lunch:)

Have you heard of this book? American Wife: a novel by Curtis Sittenfeld is supposed to be a fictionalized account of a first lady and her road to the White House, roughly based on Laura Bush. I am very interested in reading it and hope that it holds out to be a great read. I'll keep you posted! If you have read it, without spoiling anything, leave a comment and let me know what you think.

BTW I added the image of the book all by myself. Yay me! My husband is smirking at me right now since he usually has to do these things for me.

club meeting #1

The first meeting of the mother-daughter book club finally happened yesterday. Five out of the seven girls/mothers were able of make it. M and I were very excited on the way. I asked her if she wanted me to lead the discussion with all moms and daughters or if she wanted to lead the girls in their own discussion. She readily agreed to lead the girls and said that I could have a chat with all my "mom" friends at the same time. I really wanted to be able to model a book discussion and show the girls how to go about taking turns, and sharing ideas without naming names, and looking beyond the basic knowledge level questions and get into some good application and personal discussions. But since I asked her, I had to follow through on letting her try this out herself. After all, this book club is for her more than me.

We read the book Philippa Fisher's Fairy Godsister by Liz Kessler. M and I decided to decorate wooden keepsake boxes with watered down glue and tissue paper squares for a decoupage look and then added glitter accents when the first layer was dry. In the story Philippa keeps her wish vouchers in a special box in her tree house. We also handed out envelopes with three index cards inside for each girl to write out her own three wishes. Then the girls led their discussion of the book off in one corner of our room. They were a little loud and tended toward off topic giggling and squealing. At one point my daughter was standing on a chair saying, "Party! Party!" Not sure what that had to do with our book so I tried to remind her about her task and my expectations for her behavior and let them loose again. Of course, I was not at all happy that M was not being the role model I had envisioned and not taking this project of ours seriously. The moms and I talked about our responses to the book, the questions, and our experiences (as we remember them) of our adolescence and our parents. I had a good time with the other moms, but I always do. I love these ladies!

When the girls started to get louder, we called them back over to the whole group. I asked every girl what they might wish for. That was interesting and everybody gave at least one answer, but they were much quieter with moms around. I hope it was just the novelty of the club and that eventually everyone will feel comfortable with each other. When K said she wished for a little sister, M offered her own sister up for free. Again, I was not very happy about her attitude toward her sister and the book club. We also talked a little about the 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter by Vicki Courtney. We will be using this book as a mothers only book club selection later on this summer and I just wanted to share it and see if that would be an acceptable choice.

On the ride home, M and I talked about her behavior. She was quiet and sulky and could not offer a good reason for being so silly and disrespectful. I told her that if she acted like that again at book club she wouldn't be allowed to go anymore. This will devastate me if I have to follow through, this was my idea after all. So I am hoping that M and I will make progress over this next month with my expectations and her manners. I know it could just be a phase. I know she was excited to have all her friends together in one place. I think she may have been drunk with power, being the first girl to choose a book and lead the discussion. I know she is only 8 years old, but she is rarely rude, disrespectful or loud. So for her to be all three in one 90 minute time frame, and in public, did not make me happy. I know that I am not a perfect mother, no one is. But I do think that my children are reasonably well behaved and have been taught manners and know our (mom and dad) expectations for how to behave when we are at home and out in public. I don't care so much that other people saw her being this way, not as much as I care that she knew I would not approve of that behavior and did it anyway. Believe me, we will be addressing this issue for M over the next few weeks.

reschedule

I am so sad. I had to reschedule the mother daughter book club meeting. There were only 6 girls coming to this first one and right now two girls are sick, two girls have not finished the book and I have a fever. It is low grade and I think it is just pollen overload from being outside all day yesterday. I could probably just take some Motrin and muddle through, but just in case it is something contagious, it is probably good not to infect our friends. Only one girl and mother team is healthy and finished the book! O well, I rescheduled it for next Sunday - same time, same place. More to come on that later. I'm going to take another nap now, I think....

no no no

Over the weekend I went to visit my mom and sister and dad in another state. My girlies needed a cousin fix and we had enough illness down here I thought a change of scenery would do us all good. It was fun. Everyone played so nicely and I got to sit and chat with my sister for 2 days. But then it all went wrong...

She tried to give me a book to read! I said "No thank you, not right now." I have 97 other books in line before I can get to that one. It shouldn't be more than a few years before it get there right? Ughhhhh. I love to read, but even I will have trouble getting through all these in a timely fashion. I am one third of the way through Edgar Sawtelle though. It is pretty good so far. I forgot to take it with me on my trip so I missed out on a few days of prime reading opportunity.

I am also back on my treadmill though, so that will help. I love reading on the treadmill on days when I run farther but don't have to go fast AND if the print is a decent size. I wear glasses, as you may have noticed from my profile picture, so I do not have the sharpest peepers. The print is a good size in Edgar Sawtelle so I have read over 100 pages in the last 2 days.

O well, happy reading!

book club preparation

The first meeting of the mother-daughter book club is this Sunday. I am excited and so is M. We have about 20 pages to go in our book, Philippa Fisher's Fairy Godsister by Liz Kessler. I have read it aloud to both of my daughters during our bedtime routine. Even though S said she didn't want to listen to it, she climbs to the top bunk and snuggles with us and listens every night! M and I thought of some questions for the girls to discuss. I hope the discussion will take on a life of its own and not be so structured. That may happen as the meetings continue, but it will probably be a little robotic the first time.

M's favorite part so far has been dreaming and scheming about the craft project. In our Big Book of Fairy Things to Make and Do from Usborne Books, we found a great way to make a keepsake box with glue and tissue paper and lots of glitter. And what 8 year old girl doesn't love glitter? I think that is the winner of all the ideas in the book. In addition, if we have time, I have seen beads strung up on pieces of ribbon and charms hanging off the ends for fancy bookmarks at places like Borders and Barnes and Noble. I think we might head to Michaels craft store for the boxes and some charms and ribbon. We have plenty of beads to share. This might be a good thing to work on while the girls are arriving. It shouldn't take very long to string them up but it will be a nice way to mark their progress in the next book.

I am so glad M is enjoying the reading of the book and seems to like getting to choose what we talk about and what we make during the meeting. I hope the reality of it lives up to her expectations. I will write more about the meeting on Monday and let y'all know how it went. I will also post the next book club selection as soon as it is unveiled. Stay tuned....

my new running partner

I have been making an effort lately to make sure that I devote some quality time to just my 8 year old. She is about to begin that confusing, identity searching phase of tween to teen. I want to make sure that I am on the inside of that process and not just helplessly watching from afar. But at the same time I do not want there to be any less whole family time or neglect my 6 year old. So, yesterday when I put on my running shoes, little S came out of her bedroom after singing High School Musical 3 and Hannah Montana songs at the top of her lungs and pounding on our keyboard and asked to run with me. Now I knew this meant I couldn't go as far or as fast as I usually do (granted, that isn't very far or very fast!) But I thought this would be fun and helped her choose appropriate clothing and shoes for our first running expedition.

She quickly found her track pants and decent socks and her Velcro sneakers. It was only about 55 degrees so I made her bring a zip up sweatshirt too. I decided to start small with just a 1.1 mile loop in our neighborhood. I figured we could run or walk, depending on S's enthusiasm and energy. On a typical day S will have more energy and enthusiasm than I will ever have again. She is wide open and happy. And she will try just about anything, except food that resembles vegetables or meat. Luckily, she eats a lot of fruit and pasta and a multivitamin:) But that is another struggle altogether!

So we walked up our driveway, it is pretty steep. When we got to the mailbox I explained where we would run and S was off without a look back. She ran really fast, then ran slower, then walked, then ran really fast, well, you get the picture. She does not have a concept of pace but she has energy and a will to have fun. We talked about running safety: which side of the road we should be on, what to do when dogs rush at you (luckily they were all behind invisible fences today), and how to make the most of the downhill. She told me about school and how much fun she was having running with me. At one point she stepped on the side of the road and fell and skinned her knee. It only slowed her down for a moment and then she was running up the last hill in front of me. We managed to run the 1.1 miles in 12:56. Not bad for her first 1 mile run. Seeing as how I usually do it in 10:something I was impressed. S loved it! I don't know if it was the actual running or the running with mom. I'd like to believe it was the running with me, of course:)

Anyway, this morning I put my running shoes on again and there S was, asking to come along again. How could I turn her away? I waited another few minutes for her to get ready and this time her father came with us too. He is a runner trying to run 1000 days in a row. You can check out his progress at www.1000daysofrunning.blogspot.com. He has done marathons and just recently a 10 mile local race. I'm pretty sure the slow mile he ran with us does not count toward his streak but it was great to have him along this morning. So we headed out on the same path as yesterday and managed to run the 1.1 miles in 12:28. That is 28 seconds faster than yesterday. S didn't fall today and she only stopped to walk once early on. We are making progress.

Every September I run the Charlottesville 4 Miler. I enjoy running most of the time but I am not a motivated person by nature. I married an extremely motivated man who encourages me to keep running and to try other things to stay healthy. The first 4 miler was 18 months after S was born and it was a great event to focus on to lose that baby weight and get healthy. So this year will be my sixth race. I know other 6 year olds have run it in the past, maybe S will keep up her interest in running and running with me and we can do it together this year. Maybe she'll lose interest soon and move on to something else. Maybe she'll be able to outrun me by weeks end and she'll kick my butt in the race. Who knows what the future will hold for us, but I have enjoyed our first two running dates together and hope there will be many more in the future.

98 books

Well, I'm making progress on the book The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. I haven't had too many opportunities to read the last two days but I am trying. I thought my daughters were getting better so we planned a fun-filled adventure to Amazement Square (a childrens museum) in Lynchburg for Tuesday with friends. On our playdate, I discovered lymph nodes as big as golf balls on S's neck and M couldn't hold her head up straight by the end of the day. I thought maybe she just slept on it wrong, but when they weren't doing any better this morning, we took both girls to the doctor. I tend to think the worst so I had visions of meningitis and the mumps as their diagnoses. Of course, that wasn't it. S has strep and M has a double ear infection. So antibiotics for both. Yay! Hopefully, they will be good as new in a few days. I feel so much better already just having a diagnosis that is treatable and isn't life threatening. So, anyway, we are back on the couch watching more cartoons. Probably the same episodes of Phineas and Ferb as Monday. S keeps making a plug for High School Musical 3 and M keeps whining "No."

To take a break from the arguing over TV shows, I ventured back into the basement to count and make a list of the books I discovered last week. Are you ready? Because even though I could see all the books in front of me, I was surprised by the total. 96 books. I wrote down the titles and authors of all 96 in a little black composition book leftover from my teaching days that I found in the basement too. As I wrote the titles, I reread the reviews and synopses of each one and put a little star next to the ones that I want to get to first. There are quite a few classics that I have never gotten around to reading yet like The Great Gatsby and The Count of Monte Cristo. (I also decided that I want to read all of Jane Austin's novels, I think there are 6 of them. In the last month or so, I have watched Becoming Jane and The Jane Austin book club. I read Pride and Prejudice in high school and absolutely loved it! But since I don't already have them in my house, they will have to wait till I finish this list.) There are a few child development books that I still want to read like The Five Love Languages of Children and Raising Confident Girls. There were more Oprah book picks than I remembered, which is a shame because I have been disappointed quite a bit with her selections. But out of the 70 or so Oprah has picked, there has to be something I would like, right? So I'll keep trying. There are a few books I don't even think I want to read. Why keep them on the list, you might ask? Good question. I haven't decided yet what to do about them. Because I have this really weird rule that once I start a book, no matter how horrible it is, I must finish it. Because you never know and it could be so very good in the end. It usually isn't, of course, but you only know one way or the other if you finish it. I know, I have issues! Something else about me, I do not like romance/smut novels - no graphic sex scenes and weird euphemisms for anatomy for me. I think there may be on or two of those kinds of books on my list. Someone must have passed them off to me, saying "this was pretty good, you'll like it". And maybe I will or maybe I won't, but it isn't the type of book I usually pick and are therefore way at the bottom of my list. I reserve the right to take books off my list at any time. That 96 number also does not include all the young adult books in the girlies closet; and as far as I'm concerned, they don't really count anyway. Even after I read those books, they will stay in the house for several more years, until the girls have outgrown them.

So my challenge began with Book #98 An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination and now I am reading #97 The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. I think I will try and count down backwards, like a version of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.

98 books from the basement to read
98 books from the basement
Read one book and pass it around
97 books from the basement to read

If you would like the book passed on to you, leave me a comment.
Maybe we can arrange something, if it isn't a book I borrowed:)

cartoon overdose

If you read my post yesterday, you are probably thinking "Wow, she reads really fast!" I don't really read fast, but when you have two children with fevers and no other symptoms, you basically just snuggle on the couch in between them and watch cartoons all day. Now I love Phinneas and Ferb and The Backyardigans as much as the kids. I can watch them over and over again without feeling the urge to clean(I hate to clean!) My daughters love Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny cartoons too, which also makes me very happy. But I have to draw the line at The Fairly Oddparents and SpongeBob and anything with anime-looking martial arts wielding characters. Oh, and I am also glad we are beyond Yo Gabba Gabba and The Wiggles. That is enough to make me want to go back to work already.

We also watched a movie I remember from my childhood, The Last Unicorn. Well, I guess I didn't remember it exactly, because I was incredibly disappointed while watching it last night. What was up with the crazy tree that turns human-like, M said that was disgusting! For as many times as I remember watching it as a child, I will probably not watch it again as an adult. Not when Disney and Pixar have made such awesome movies since then. I can watch Aladdin, Sleeping Beauty(I do realize this was made long before The Last Unicorn/it is one of my all time favorite Disney animated films), and The Little Mermaid multiple times, and my personal favorite Mulan. Not sure why I connected with Mulan so much but get goosebumps every time when all of China bows down to her at the end. I love it!

Anyway, while watching several hours of said cartoons, I got out my book and read. So the first book went fairly quickly. This next one is huge and will take a bit longer I reckon. ("I reckon"- that is a tribute to my friends down here in VA) I think I will count the books from the basement today, not to make my task feel overwhelming but to keep track better, to see how far I have come and how far I have yet to go. I will also turn the TV off today because even good cartoons get old after awhile. Maybe we will all read together. We do need to catch up on our mother-daughter book club pick! But I must confess that I did enjoy my snuggle time with my girlies though. Who knows how much longer they will find snuggling with mommy comforting. Hopefully a lot longer....

one book down....

So I haven't really counted them all, but maybe I should.
I finished the first book from my purging expedition in the basement. I read An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken. It is essentially the story of a woman who has a stillborn baby and then within a year has a second healthy child. It is a memoir, a true story of this woman's experience throughout the two pregnancies.

Being a sucker for emotional songs, movies, and books I thought "This one is going to make me cry!" And truthfully, I love that. I love the physical release of crying; even if it makes your nose stuffy for a little while, it still feels like a cleansing of sorts. So when I cry for someone else's pain and suffering, it gives me that feeling without actually having to be sad about my own life.
So you would think a true story about a stillborn would be sufficient to conjure up the crying magic. But, sadly, it didn't.

I felt very disconnected to the author. I wanted to feel compassion for her, to try to understand what that would be like. Maybe it is because I have had two uneventful (in a good way) pregnancies which resulted in two beautiful healthy baby girls. I have not had a miscarriage or a stillborn child. But actually having experienced the same set of circumstances isn't usually necessary to initiate the waterworks. I can be sympathethic, if not empathetic, very easily. I'm sure my husband would just say pathetic, but all you women out there know what I'm talking about. I can feel sad for 30 second tv commercial actors. I can ball my eyes out to a country song video. I can make myself cry just by thinking bad thoughts about someone close to me or by praying so deeply for loved ones. So what gives with a true story about a very sad thing?

Having only finished the book 10 minutes ago, the best I can come up with is that it was written very well. It wasn't an emotional account of the situation. It was filled with facts and details that paint a picture in my mind about how exactly it happened for her. It was a story of her thoughts, her anxieties, how she interacted with the medical professionals in France and New York. It was a written thank you to her friends that helped her through the aftermath of baby #1. It was sad, but it wasn't emotional. It was detailed and interesting, but it wasn't personal. She seemed detached from the experience; therefore, I was detached and not emotionally invested in her loss. So while I appreciated the memoir, an honest account of 18 months of her life, I didn't feel her pain. I didn't cry. I did feel outrage at a few insensitive characters in her journey but I did not cry. Very sad indeed.

Thank you to my friend Cheri who let me borrow this one. On to book #2, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. This one appears to be an Oprah book pick as well.

book obsession confession

I have a confession to make. I cannot stop reading or maybe it is more that I cannot stop buying or borrowing books from my friends or the library. While cleaning out my basement yesterday I discovered 5 boxes (you know the ones reams of paper come in?) full of books. Now, to be fair, two of the boxes have my collection of Stephen King, John Grisham, and Nicholas Sparks books (and my beautiful copy of Little Women) which aren't going anywhere just yet. I have read almost all of them already but intend on keeping them for the bookshelves I may have someday:)
But the 3 other boxes are just a crazy collection of anything that looked interesting to me over the last 15 years. Some are Oprah book picks, some were just on clearance at Barnes & Noble, some were gifts, some are child development books, some are novels, etc. There are books for every one of my personalities and stages of life so far. You get the idea, right? I have three boxes of books to wade through and read. I made a New Years Resolution this year not to buy any books until I read through the ones I already have. Well, I have already bought a few books this year due to the mother-daughter book club I started, I needed (see that, I needed them) a few books for research purposes by other women who have started a book club and great children's books that may be future picks. But NO MORE books for pleasure until these 3 boxes have been read and given away. I'll keep you guys posted on what I am reading as I make my way through all three boxes. I'll have to take a children's book break here and there to read with my daughter, but of course there is a children's/young adult literature box in the girlies closet with a bunch of those kind of books that I want to read myself too! So make that 4 boxes of books. Yikes! I had better get reading.....
First up: An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken

Mother-Daughter Book Club

I want a relationship with my daughter that is based on our ability to communicate when we agree and when we don't. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me about anything. I want her to be comfortable with her friends and their moms; so if something happens and she doesn't want to talk to me, maybe she'll talk to them. I want her to have a group of friends that transcends the school she attends and even the church she attends. I want M to have a group of friends that loves her, respects her, accepts her exactly how she is, watches out for her, and doesn't pressure her to be something she isn't. This is what I had in mind when I decided to start a mother-daughter book club. I want to be able to spend some time with just M and her "good" friends and their moms (my awesome friends!). I think in the boundaries of this book club idea, we can come together regularly to build a relationship like this with each other and provide our daughters and each other a support network to help them navigate the coming years.

To the wonderful women who have eagerly jumped into this mother-daughter book club idea with me: I know you as women, I am blessed to know you all as friends and your children are the kind of friends I would make for M if it were up to me. And to a certain extent, it still can be up to me for a little while longer. I can't believe M is 8 already! And even though she is only 8, I feel her frustration about friendships already, I can hear her tired/exhausted/mood swinging emotions get the better of her some days. I want to be on the inside helping out, talking, making her feel better, more confident, less stressed/anxious, than adding to her stress. Does this make sense? It is only going to get worse (no, not worse, just more complicated) as she develops into her teenage self. The needing to fit in, the group mentality, the saying what others want to hear, the doing what others want you to do, the needing to figure out who you'll be, what you believe, what you'll stand up for, what you'll try before you are ready just because your “friends” say so. I know our girls are only 8 but I am hoping and praying that if we start this book club now and build a great base for the relationship we want later on - the better we will all be. It takes a village, right? Will you be part of my village?

If you want to be part of the village, check back often and feel free to comment on the posts. I’d love more ideas and perspectives.

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new stage fright

Welcome to my blog! I have been thinking about starting this for awhile now, but was having trouble pinpointing what my theme or purpose would be, and who would want to read what I write? I have read a ton of very interesting blogs in the last few weeks - to say the least - and what I’ve found is that you never can tell!

That said, my purpose or goal for my blog is to write about me and my relationship with my two beautiful daughters, my husband, my friends, my community, society at large, well, you get the idea. I am a former first grade teacher and reading specialist with children ages 8 and 6. I feel I have lived and breathed all things baby, toddler, and preschool for so long that this next stage of development – the tween stage – scares me, more than a little. So in my typical nerdy fashion, I am reading books on development, asking friends with older children, and trying out all kinds of theories and methods to relate to my children and create a better base for our relationship to weather the storms of tween and teen. I know my daughter M is only 8. And she says to me “Mom, I may be 8 now but please don’t call me a tween.” But I see the mood swings already. I see the tears when something doesn’t go right at school, I see the hurt in her eyes and hear it in her voice when a birthday party of a close friend doesn’t go like she had planned in her head. I see her trying to be liked, starting to be nasty to her sister, not because she is a mean child but out of frustration and insecurity. So, while I read and learn and experiment, I thought I’d bring you with me. If you are interested in starting this journey with me, subscribe and comment and maybe we can help each other.

Next post will be about our new mother-daughter book club.